Emotional Intelligence Articles

Tips on How to Increase Emotional Intelligence

We all know what I.Q. is and how it’s used to measure success in school, but did you know there is a different kind of predictor for success in life? It’s called emotional intelligence, or E.Q., and many experts believe it’s far more important than I.Q. Emotional intelligence is our ability to identify our feelings, as well as others’ feelings, and to manage those emotions well. You can use the following tips as a guide on how to increase your emotional intelligence.

Language is a powerful thing, and one of the most important tools in learning how to increase your emotional intelligence. If you use words that describe what you’re doing in the moment, you increase your sense of identity. Instead of feeling something, like anger, and identifying it later by saying “I was angry,” try to stay clued in to what you’re feeling all the time. Take a moment to identify your anger as it’s happening and say to yourself, “I am angry.” It’s a small difference, but very powerful in helping you raise your E.Q.

Another important step in learning how to increase your emotional intelligence is to see yourself as an active participant in your life, rather than a victim. It’s easy to believe that someone else caused something to happen to us or made us feel a certain way, and much more difficult to take responsibility for our feelings and actions. Think about kids: so many times you hear kids say something like “She made me mad so I hit her.” As adults, we have to get out of that frame of mind and take responsibility by saying, “I am mad at her for what she said to me.” It’s not always easy to turn around our way of thinking, but the rewards are enormous.

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